


A World Reborn

by SkyLeaf



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, F/F, Family, Gen, Pining, Post-Majora's Mask, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24510814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyLeaf/pseuds/SkyLeaf
Summary: In a way, Cremia supposed it was almost comforting to know that the world would end before she would be forced to face the reality around her.Only, in the end, dawn arrived, leaving her to pick up the pieces.
Relationships: Anju/Cremia, Cremia & Kafei, Cremia & Link, Cremia & Romani
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	A World Reborn

**Author's Note:**

> Though Cremia may only have a small role in Majora's Mask, she is still a main character in my heart :)

**How could you leave me? I cannot handle this on my own**

When Cremia found herself looking towards the tree for the fourth time in the same number of minutes, she knew that she would not be able to ignore the little ball of guilt that had formed in her stomach ever since she had found herself alive in the morning after the world had been supposed to end and remembered what the desperation and grief over how it had all seemed like it would be her last night alive had made her say.

Through the night, when she had held Romani so closely that, had it not been for how she had spent the last three days doing her best to shield her sister from knowing what was happening outside, Romani would surely have commented on it, asking her to loosen her grip around her, she had thought that it, the angry words and the tears that had dripped onto the ground, would be the last contact she would ever have with her parents while they were still separated. The line between their reunion being a dream and reality blurring, she imagined how she would wake up once it was all over to find them looking down at her, extending their hands towards her and Romani to help them stand up again.

But she had survived. Somehow, when Cremia woke up in the morning, she had looked out of the window to see that, where the moon had hung so low in the sky when she had gone to sleep that Cremia had had her doubts about whether or not she would have time to become unconscious before it would finally be able to kiss the ground, the moon had now returned to its right place up high in the sky.

And though the first feeling to wash over her, the reason her breathing had sped up a little as she stumbled back from the window, having to rub the heel of her hands against her eyes just to make sure that what she was seeing really was the truth and not just the result of how she had prayed and hoped for a miracle to arrive in time to save them, had been relief and gratitude, as the hours had passed and Cremia had gradually grown used to the thought of life continuing, she had not been able to ignore the way everything she had said the night before echoed in her mind for much longer.

It was what brought her to go outside, feeling how the sun shone down on her, the sunbeams now able to make their way down to the ground without the pale surface of the moon hindering their journey, and walk along the path that took her to the tree she had helped her father plant so many years ago, sitting down next to the spot where a patch of slightly shorter grass marked the place where she had repeated the process of crying, and promising that they would be strong for each other with Romani only a few years after she had placed the bouquet on top of her mother’s grave.

However, while Cremia’s mind had been spinning the night before, little snippets of what she wished she would have had time to tell them flying through her mind as she faced what she had then thought would be her last moments alive, the moment she crouched down next to the grave, she found herself lacking the words to properly explain to her parents how it had felt for her to be forced to lie to her little sister, to pretend that everything was fine, all because she was the oldest on the ranch after they had died.

So, rather than saying something she would no doubt come to regret the second after the words had left her mouth—a feeling Cremia already knew too well—she simply sat there for a while, feeling how the rain shower that had made its way over Termina during the night, sending water rather than fire across the land, had made the little spots on the grave where the grass had yet to bind the soil together, forming roots that would reach from one end of the grave to the other, become mud. Her finger sank deeper into the earth, and although she would no doubt have told her to go and clean her hands if she had seen Romani do the same, Cremia could not find the strength to withdraw her hands, to clench her hands and press them her chest, hoping that it would help alleviate the feeling of tightness that had lived there since the first time she had noticed how the moon was advancing towards them.

“I—” Cremia began, finding herself, for once, unable to maintain the façade of hope and cheerfulness she had tried to emit for her sister’s sake, “I come here to apologise for what I said yesterday. I know that you did not leave me willingly, and I should not have said so.”

For a moment she waited, a sense of childish hope making her wait for their answer. But, of course, the only thing she could hear was the wind flying past her, making the leaves of the tree in front of her rustle slightly, a few of them letting go of the branches to instead fall down to cover the ground.

She shook her head, unable to determine whether the hollow feeling in her chest was the result of the disappointment of how not even the way she had gone outside the day before to sit down and cry, to yell at their parents for how they had left her and Romani alone, leaving the responsibility of making sure that the ranch would survive as well as raising her sister to her, had been enough to be able to reach them wherever they were now, or if it was simply yet another sign of how Cremia, despite having wanted to pretend the opposite, was still not old enough, mature enough, to pretend that she was able to cope with it all.

Feeling how each second she spent out there drained her of energy even more, Cremia had to give in to the effects of gravity, giving up any hope of making it so that Romani would not be able to tell where she had gone, why she would not have been able to find her inside the barn. As she lay down next to the grave, feeling how some of the rain from the day before seeped into her clothes, no doubt staining her skirt and blouse, and how the smell of the grass hit her nose, Cremia could not help but wonder if this was really the closest she would ever be able to get to her parents ever again. Memories of all the times she, Anju, and Kafei had spent ages convincing Anju’s grandmother to tell them stories about the four giants who had been entrusted with the task of protecting Termina since the beginning of time appeared in her mind, but Cremia pushed them away in an instant. They would not help her, not now, not when all she could think of every time she pictured the room in the Stock Pot Inn where the old woman seemed to spend all of her time was how Anju, even after they had grown up, becoming too old for stories like those, had pulled her with her towards the door, always sitting down in the couch, somehow always making her and Kafei move to the side to make room for her between them.

But even as she forced the ache in her heart to subside, Cremia could still not ignore how, for one single moment, when she had glanced out of the window shortly before having given up and gone back to her bed to try to make it so that she would not feel anything, she had thought she could see the silhouettes of four beings illuminated by the glow of the moon as they all walked towards Clock Town, coming from each of the four regions that surrounded the city. Back then, she had forced herself to tear her eyes away from the sight. The risk of how it might still be too late, how the moon might still hit the ground, catching her off guard and leaving both her and Romani to die without the other even if all that separated them was a few metres of air, had simply been too frightening for her to grant herself permission to watch and pray for the figures she thought she had seen to reach the moon in time to stop its descent.

Still, as she looked down at the grave, she could not help but wonder if what she had seen had really been the fabled four giants, if she, during those frantic heartbeats where she had not been sure of whether they would live or die had received real, tangible proof that that the stories Anju’s grandmother had told them had been more than just fairy tales, if there really was another world waiting for them on the other side of death where she would be able to meet her parents again. Cremia did not know if she hoped that it was true, but as she forced herself to stand up, the act of pushing herself off the ground almost requiring more energy than she could muster, she knew that, no matter if such a place existed, she and her sister would still not meet their parents anytime soon, not as long as Cremia would still be here to watch over the ranch and Romani.

Her voice sounded strangely calm as she pressed her hand against the ground, letting the soft soil give way under the pressure to leave an imprint on the ground, and Cremia did not try to hide it this time. “I will see you again. Not right now, but I will see you again. Then, I can properly apologise to you.”

**I know… there is nothing I can do to change what will happen now**

Grasshopper.

That was what her little sister had decided to name the boy who had arrived at the ranch, having seemingly appeared out of thin air if the fact that Cremia had not been able to find anyone who had seen him before that day and how he refused to tell her where he had been before coming to Termina was any indication. In a way, Cremia supposed it was a fitting name. Though her sister might simply have chosen it due to the green colour of his clothing, as Cremia woke up the morning after she had believed the moon would fall to see that they had survived, passing through the town and seeing how everyone still walked around like they could not quite believe that they were alive, still sending worried glances towards the sky from time to time, it did not take long for her to realise that he had disappeared during the night, having somehow left Termina without leaving a single trace or hint of who he had been behind. It was almost so that, had it not been for how Romani would still excitedly tell her about the boy who had helped her defend the cows from the beings Romani had called ‘them’, Cremia would have assumed that he had only existed in her mind, having been nothing more than a figment of her imagination, a way for her to make herself believe that there was still hope. But he had really existed; Cremia knew that each time she would glance at Romani and see her sister let another arrow sail through the air, impaling the balloon she was using as a replacement for those she still claimed had come to take the cows only a few days earlier.

In a way, Cremia could not help but wonder if it really mattered if Grasshopper had existed or not. Although she did of course hope that, if he really had been there, had walked through Termina and arrived to help her little sister defend the ranch, he had not simply disappeared, but rather left because he had another life waiting for him, it would not have changed the fact that to her and Romani, his presence had without a doubt changed their lives for the better if that was not the case.

It was a truth she could not avoid that, while Cremia would still not quite bring herself to say that she was grateful for it having happened, not with how she could still see the effects of the fears of the moon falling every time she visited Clock Town and saw how the guards were still struggling to maintain a sense of order in the city with how even the slightest sound or a small pebble having been kicked up into the air by a child running past was enough to make people panic, believing that the moon would fall again, the presence of Grasshopper had brought her closer to her sister, had made her see how, even if the stories of the beings coming to take the cows had just been the result of Romani’s vivid imagination, it was still a sign that she could trust Romani to be able to bear more responsibility than she had thought before.

But with how he had disappeared without a trace, it appeared that she would never get the chance to thank him for it, to let him know how he had shown her that, unlike what she had thought the first time she had looked up into the sky to see the moon stare back and her, the craters that decorated the surface bearing an eerie similarity to the face of someone who cried over their fate, her destiny was not already determined for her; she could still change it.

That was almost what hurt the most when she thought about him. How he had shown up, only being there at the ranch for a few moments before he would leave them again, talking about a quest he had to complete, a look always appearing in his eyes each time he mentioned it that made Cremia suspect that, while he might look like he could only have been a few years older than her little sister, he had already seen more than everyone in the town combined, and yet had left such a huge impact on their lives without Cremia being able to tell him how she could still see the changes he had brought to their existence in the smiles her sister would send her when she would hit one of the balloons and in how she could now travel to Clock Town to sell the milk without having to worry about the Gorman brothers.

It was then that the sight of the pots caught her eyes, almost seeming to pull her towards them. In that moment, Cremia knew what she had to do.

She could not quite explain how she knew to place the pots outside the door or why she hesitated for a moment before giving in to the urge to place a green rupee inside it, but as Cremia stepped outside the next day to find that someone had been there during the night, having broken the pots, leaving only the pieces of broken pottery behind them, she could not deny that it felt right to simply glance down at it before beginning to pick up the shards again.

**Anju is lucky to have you**

Cremia did not find the courage to visit her friends until several weeks had passed since the day she had found herself with no other choice than to face the fact that, unlike what she had thought the day before, the world had not ended.

At first, she had somewhat been able to lie, to convince herself that it was simply a matter of how she was busy with the ranch, how she had to continue working to make sure that she would not hand the Gorman brothers another chance to compete with them while also taking care of Romani, but that excuse could only last her for so long. By the time Cremia found herself standing outside the mayor’s residence, unable to reach out and knock on the door, she had to admit that her reluctance to visit him again was due to more than just the busy lifestyle that came with living on a ranch.

If she were to go inside, even if she was fairly certain that Anju was not there, the risk that she would see a sign of how happy they were together, perhaps the Moon’s Mask Anju had given to Kafei, allowing it to fuse with his Sun Mask to create what the books and legends always described as being a sign of true love, the Couple’s Mask, was still present. As much as Cremia had tried to grow used to the idea of that over those last few weeks where she had been somewhat able to distract herself from her thoughts by taking care of the cows and making sure that Romani would not accidentally end up injuring herself with her training, even the idea of having to come face to face with that was enough to make her freeze, her hand hovering a hair’s breadth above the door handle.

However, before she had found either the courage to open the door or was overwhelmed by her own fear, making her turn around to leave, to flee back to the ranch where she would not have to confront her feelings, Cremia heard how someone walked over to the door, the sound of their footfalls being audible even through the solid, wooden door. The next moment, the door swung open, Cremia barely having time to step away to avoid a collision with the person on the other side, and revealed how she would not have to ponder the question of whether or not she was brave enough to face the person who was one of her oldest friends, the one who had been quicker to admit to his feelings than she had been.

For it was Kafei who stepped out of the house.

For a second, Cremia thought she could see the surprised look she really should have expected to receive after having done her best to avoid them for those past few weeks, staying on the ranch for as long as possible and being careful not to let them see her when she found herself with no choice but to travel to Clock Town to sell the milk, flicker across Kafei’s face.

It only lasted a moment before he seemingly managed to plaster a smile that might have convinced her had it not been for how she had known him since childhood onto his face, greeting her with a short nod. “Cremia,” he said, his voice revealing the same surprise she had found on his face only moments before, “it has been a long time, has it not?”

Doing her best to hide how the amount of time that had passed since the last time they had talked to each other had at least partly been something she had consciously tried her best to cause, Cremia chuckled. “Yes, it has indeed.”

The awkward silence filled the air between them, almost like it had a physical form, forcing them away from one another.

As she stood there, watching how Kafei fiddled with something in his pocket, Cremia could not help but wonder why it seemed that Kafei’s luck had always appeared to far outlast hers. The way he had seemed to always be able to be in the right place at the right time to find the person he was looking for, how things always seemed to work out for him despite the odds, how it had followed him into adulthood, making it so that even after he had disappeared days before their wedding, making Anju doubt whether she had somehow caused him to leave, their relationship had still been strong enough to make Anju stay in the town even when the moon was threatening to crush them all and rain down a fiery inferno, it all came rushing to the surface as she looked at him.

In a way, even now, Cremia could not help but regard Anju’s decision to stay in the doomed town rather than coming to Romani Ranch as yet another example of her choosing Kafei over her. It was selfish to make the situation between them about her, Cremia knew that, but still, as she looked at Kafei, she could not help but wonder if perhaps things would have ended differently had she been the first of them to gather the courage to tell Anju about their feelings.

A little glimpse of something in Kafei’s eyes told her that he knew exactly what question was occupying her thoughts. Perhaps it was a testimony to all the days they had spent in each other’s company throughout their childhoods, laughing about everything and nothing, that, rather than asking her what she was thinking about and embarrassing her by forcing her to admit to the real reason for why she had acted so distant during their wedding, why she had quite evidently done everything she could to avoid having to talk with them, he simply tilted his head a little when he broke the silence that had otherwise begun to feel almost comfortable. “You know, Cremia, about what you said the last time we spoke, I was actually thinking about it—”

Cremia interrupted him, unable to look at him and see how the pitying look made his features grow softer for even a second longer. “It was nothing,” she insisted, trying her best to let what she hoped was a nonchalant gesture prove her words, “really; I was just tired and did not know how to congratulate the two of you on your engagement. It did not mean anything.” but even as she said it, Cremia could hear how her voice gave away her true feelings, how she could not hide that the conversation between them the night before Kafei had vanished without a trace only to return shortly before his and Anju’s wedding had meant more to her than she could ever have expressed with words.

And it seemed that Kafei could hear that as well, for he stepped closer towards her, taking her hand as he let his voice become softer, gaining that horrible, pitying tone that Cremia had come to known too well during their childhood as he spoke. “I don’t believe that you really mean that,” Kafei told her, and although a humourless laugh threatened to make its way out of her mouth, wanting her to tell Kafei that of course she had meant it, that of course the wishful edge to her voice and the way she had not been able to mask how she was coming to congratulate Kafei on living what had been the life Cremia had only allowed herself to imagine in her dreams had been accidental, she somehow managed to stay quiet, allowing him to continue, “and I just—I want to tell you that I am sorry.”

That, however, the way Kafei’s voice trembled slightly, the way he truly seemed to mean it as he stood there, apologising to her for having married the love of his life, made Cremia unable to remain quiet anymore.

Shaking her head, she finally returned the gesture Kafei taking her hand had really been, tightening her grip. “No, please don’t apologise. I—I…” she fought to find the sentences necessary to describe the feelings that washed over her, how there was plenty of room to both acknowledge that she was not a good enough person not to have felt a little pang of jealousy when she had witnessed their wedding, while still ultimately being happy for them and how they had found true joy in each other, stammering slightly as the words she would need finally revealed themselves, “I would never have wanted for you not to have this. You are happy with Anju and so is she. Really, is that not all I could ask for—for my best friends to become happy?”

It was that question Cremia had found herself struggling with during all those months where she had known that Anju and Kafei’s promise to marry on the day of the carnival had gone from being a childish promise that had been made between friends without actually understanding the full extent of it to becoming a sign of true love between two adults. If she truly wanted to believe that she was in love with Anju, then did that not also mean that she should have been able to bury her own feelings for her the moment Anju had come to her to share the news of how she and Kafei had got engaged to instead dedicate herself fully to her friend’s joy rather than still nurturing the little sting of heartache that had followed along with the news?

Cremia supposed that the answer to that question should have been a yes, but while she had tried her best to accept the fact that she had let her only chance of doing anything other than learning how to hide her feelings slip out of her grasp the moment she had decided that she was not brave enough to tell Anju and risk losing her oldest friend, the little pang of knowing that her unhappiness was her own fault still hit her from time to time despite how she tried her best to ignore it.

Letting go of her hand, the look on Kafei’s face told her how her comment had had the opposite effect of what she had intended, as, rather than sending her the little smile she had hoped for, it soon became obvious that Kafei had realised how his happiness was also part of the reason for why she had found herself deciding to avoid her best friends.

Speaking slowly, almost like he was afraid that any sudden sound would make her run back to the ranch, Kafei looked at her. “Do you want to speak to Anju?” he asked. “Because I know that it will be fine. We can figure out what to do about all of this together; it must be better for you to be able to share all of your feelings with us rather than having to stay silent, is it not?”

She halfway expected for it be a joke, for how else could he have suggested something like that, truly believing that after she had only decided to visit him after having made sure that Anju would not be there, after she had stood by and listened to Anju telling her about Kafei’s latest romantic gesture, Cremia would ever admit to having harboured romantic feelings for her best friend? But as she looked at Kafei, searching for the beginning of a smile tucking at his lips, a sparkle in his eyes, Cremia saw how he was serious, fully believing that his suggestion would be enough to lift the cloud of the muddled feelings that the last couple of years had brought to them to now cover their friendship.

Still, Cremia knew that Kafei was only trying to make her feel better, desperately searching for a way that would allow her to not feel obligated to distance herself from them, the divide growing wider with each and every day where she was not sure she could trust herself to play the role of the friend who was happy for them, so she forced herself to form a little smile before shaking her head at Kafei. “I am afraid that would not work,” she said, and despite how she tried her best to hide it, Cremia knew that her voice made it apparent how the only thing she wanted to do was to allow herself to believe in Kafei’s plan, to grow closer to them again.

“But why not?” Kafei asked, seemingly not realising how much energy it had required for her to be able to force herself to say no to the offer of the three of them becoming as close as they had been when they had been children again.

In that moment, she lost her battle with the tempting option of allowing her feelings to gain control over her, forgot to remind herself how she was still the one to decide what she would do.

As she spoke, Cremia found herself unable to hide the annoyance in her voice anymore. “Because, Kafei, although I am happy for you—believe me, I am—I need some time right now to try to forget about this. I know that I should be able to just be there for you, but I can’t, not right now at least. Please… I am not asking for much, I just need a few days to try to grow used to this. Please.”

Her voice sounded much weaker than she had expected, and despite how she had gone to Clock Town with every intention of being able to leave with her dignity and pride intact, Cremia could hear how she sounded like she was pleading with him, practically begging him to stop asking for a reason. But although she hated herself for how she was not quite able to regain the control over her voice, the next second, Cremia could see how it had at least made Kafei’s close his mouth again, and how he, instead of asking another question she would find herself unable to answer, nodded.

“If that is what you want,” he said, and while part of her wanted to tell him that it was the very last thing she wanted, how she wished for him to tell her that it was not necessary, that he and Anju wanted her to remain in their lives, Cremia could not deny that the relief made her able to breathe freely for the first time in days as Kafei gave her hand one last squeeze before letting it fall back to rest against her side as he looked at her with such intensity in his gaze that, for a moment, Cremia saw the same young boy who had once convinced Anju’s grandmother to tell them stories for another hour after she had declared that they had to go to sleep now, “just know what we here for you no matter what. While you might have decided that you are doing this because you believe that it will make us happy, you have to remember that we are your friends as well and that we also just want to see you be happy. Will you promise me that you will remember that?”

“I will,” Cremia answered. Although she had expected for the words to have been a lie, as Kafei sent her one last look before leaving her behind to walk towards the southern part of Clock Town, Cremia could feel how his assurance that, once the day where she would find herself ready to talk with them would arrive, he and Anju would be ready to welcome her back had taken a great weight off her mind.

**It will be fine. Try to dream about the ranch for me, will you?**

No matter how much truth Romani’s story about how she had helped Grasshopper defend the ranch from the attackers held, Cremia could not deny that Romani had changed after that night. Where she had once insisted that she wanted to be treated like an adult only to then run home to Cremia, reaching out towards her as she called for her to lift her up, when she would trip while running around in the fields right outside their house, it did not take long for Cremia to notice how she now had to call for Romani to come inside to eat dinner multiple times before her little sister would finally let go of her bow and arrow, jumping up onto her chair to, with her voice rising gradually throughout the story, tell her about how she had made progress, how she could now hit the balloons even when she tried to challenge herself by closing her eyes.

Part of her would probably never be able not to forget about the little girl who had truly believed that Cremia was able to kiss the scrapes that had decorated her knees and hands after she had fallen while running around better, but she did her best to let go of the thought of how she would rather let her sister remain a child forever. For while she would not have let her have a glass of Chateau Romani if it had not been for how Cremia had truly believed that it would be Romani’s only chance of tasting it, fact was that when the moon had slowly advanced, growing bigger in the sky, it was barely an exaggeration to say that Romani had handled the situation much better than Cremia had, having both decided to take it upon herself to enlist the help of Grasshopper in her plan to defend the cows while not losing her hope that the moon would somehow be stopped.

That, the realisation that, no matter how much she might have wished that it would not have to be the case, Romani was growing up, was the truth Cremia tried to acknowledge in the days that followed after the miracle had given them another chance. Not even the way Romani had evidently still not been able to handle the responsibility of preparing dinner was enough to make Cremia doubt her decision as she paused in between two mouthfuls of the burnt taste of soup to look over at Romani.

She was sitting in the chair next to Cremia’s, clearly trying her best to maintain a perfect posture as she copied the way her older sister lifted the spoon, making sure not to spill even a single drop of the soup.

“Romani,” Cremia finally said, forcing herself to talk so quickly that she would not get the chance to change her mind before it had already been decided, “I was thinking that you might want to learn more about archery.”

Romani’s eyes widened, and although she had looked like the only thing that existed in her world had been the spoon and the soup only moments before, she let go of the utensil, the metal clattering against the porcelain as drops of soup hit the table next to her.

However, it did not seem that Romani noticed any of that, keeping her gaze fixed on Cremia as she slowly began to speak, her tone of voice making it apparent how she could not quite believe what she was hearing. “Really?”

Cremia nodded. “Yes, really. I have already talked with the swordsman, and he said that if you are interested, he is sure he could teach you a couple of things about archery.”

Though she had of course hoped that the idea would make Romani happy, Cremia was taken by surprise by the sheer force with which Romani had jumped up from her chair, sprinting over to throw herself into the hug, wrapping both arms around her as she began to thank her for it, speaking so quickly that Cremia could barely understand a word of what she was saying.

“Whoa, whoa there,” Cremia laughed, not able to truly put any feelings into it as she knew how obvious it was that her heart was really singing with joy from how she could see her own smile reflected on Romani’s face, “if you could try not to strangle me then that would be very much appreciated, though the swordsman would perhaps be impressed with you if it turned out that you really were able to do it.”

Sending her a quick, apologetic smile, Romani allowed the grip to become a bit looser, though she still did not quite let go of her as she began to jump up and down, looking like she could barely contain her joy.

“Romani can’t believe that you would actually let her take lessons,” Romani all but yelled, “you always said that she was too young, that it was your job to protect the ranch from danger and not hers. Thank you, Romani—I will not let you down! I can learn how to handle the bow and arrow—perhaps even the sword as well—and then we will never have to fear anything ever again!”

Letting out a strained laugh, Cremia tried her best not to reveal how she was already doubting the decision she had made. This, for Romani to believe that it was now up to her alone to protect them, was exactly the scenario she had feared her offer of letting Romani be taught by someone who knew how to handle the weapons—for that was what the bow and arrow truly were; despite how Romani might have acted like they were just a toy until the night when she had claimed that she and Grasshopper had defended the ranch, they truly were weapons—would lead to.

However, with how the joy was practically filling the air around her little sister, Romani still jumping around slightly as she seemed to spot how she had got soup all over her shirt and the table and left to find a piece of cloth to clean it up, Cremia knew that she would not be able to tell her how she was already doubting her decision, not when it would without a doubt lead to the smile disappearing in an instant, Romani surely taking it as a sign that she did not quite trust her yet. If there was one thing Cremia did not want to happen that was it, for her sister to believe that, despite how Cremia had done her best to let her see how she was trying to acknowledge the fact that Romani, though still young, still a child, was not the same little girl who had cried herself to sleep during the months following their father’s death, she would never come to regard her as anyone but her little sister whom she had to protect.

In her heart, Cremia knew that, try as she might, part of her would most likely always believe that it was her responsibility to take care of her sister, but for now at least, she could try her best to let Romani enjoy more freedom, trusting that she knew what to do with it.

As Romani began to talk about how she had to change the bowstring, already planning to go to Clock Town the next day, barely pausing to look up at Cremia, silently asking for permission to journey over there on her own, Cremia was sure that she would be able to handle it just fine.

That was why she was able to push down the worry that rose in her stomach and would without a doubt continue to do so for the rest of her life every time she had to witness another sign of Romani growing up, to instead send her a little smile as she nodded. “Of course. You need to take good care of your bow after all.”

Romani smiled at her, and Cremia could only find comfort in the fact that she knew she could trust her sister to take care of herself as well as her bow.

**I love you**

For all that it was something she would have to do, Cremia was not sure if she should find it ironic or sad that it was one of Romani’s archery lessons that brought her to finally having to face her friends again.

On one hand, she assumed that it was at least a sign that, while she had spent days longing for their company, to see Anju smile at her, the wrinkles that appeared around her eyes almost seeming to reflect the smile that made the corners of her lips curl upwards, and to be able to joke with Kafei again, she had been able to deny herself the consolation she knew they would try to bring her, how they would without a doubt try their best to restrain themselves, to not let her see how they were in love, truly believing that it would be what was best for her. But on the other hand, some might also have regarded the great amount of time she put into making sure that she would not have to see them as an expression of cowardice. While Cremia would have liked to think that the first interpretation might be correct, she could not deny that the second one seemed more likely. After all, despite how she had seen how happy Kafei and Anju were together, it had not been enough to keep her from dreaming of a world where she had been the first of them to tell Anju about her feelings, a world where, rather than standing among the crowd of friends and family, it had been Cremia who was walking next to Anju, exchanging masks, to dream of a world where she would have been able to achieve the same happiness as they enjoyed. So even though the explanation that would paint her as a good, self-sacrificing friend did entice her, Cremia knew that it was the other one, the one that showed how selfish she could be, that was the truth.

But as she left the Swordsman’s School that morning, having just managed to close her mouth in time to avoid reminding Romani to be careful, only to all but run directly into Kafei and Anju as she stepped back outside, the last thing Cremia thought about as she took a step backwards was why she had spent so much time avoiding them.

No, looking up to see a whirlwind of emotions make their way across Anju’s face before she finally settled on a smile, Cremia could barely find the energy to acknowledge any other feeling than the sense of dread that was already making her stomach twist in painful knots.

The time where they had not seen each other must have made the divide between them grow wider than Cremia had expected, for where Anju would once have been able to cast a single glance at her before realising that it was best to leave her alone, she now stepped forward, reaching out towards her hand, her smile almost appearing to grow brighter with every frantic beat Cremia’s heart produced.

“Cremia!” Anju exclaimed. “Can you believe it; we were actually just talking about how we should go to visit you today!”

“Oh,” Cremia managed to stammer, sending a glare towards Kafei, mentally begging for him not to have told Anju about the conversation that had occurred between them only a little week before. The little nod he sent her, keeping the movement so small that, even if Anju had turned around in that second, Cremia doubted she would have been able to notice it, felt like a blessing, allowing her to let out the little, worried breath that had caught in her throat. Looking back at Anju, Cremia was not quite sure how she found the strength to not simply flee, but somehow she did, even painting a smile onto her face. “Well, then I suppose that it is a good thing you found me here before you would have had to make the journey to Romani Ranch, is it not?”

“It absolutely is!”

Anju did not seem to have noticed how her hands were shaking or how Cremia’s gaze began to flicker, landing first on Anju, then Kafei, before finally coming back to Anju, and for a single second, Cremia allowed herself to entertain the idea of Anju perhaps having forgot about the last time they had spoken to each other. But she only let the fantasy last a moment, for if she were to truly let herself believe it, Cremia knew that it would end with their friendship falling apart when Anju would one day ask her about it again, catching her off guard if she had forgot about it. She had to assume that Anju could indeed remember and that she was only refraining from mentioning it to spare her feelings.

However, before Cremia could have done anything—and truthfully, in that moment, she did not know whether she would have tried to explain herself or if she would perhaps simply have tried to claim that Anju must have imagined it—Kafei cleared his throat and stepped forward.

From the look on his face, the way the little twitches that made his expression switch between a smile and a frown, it was obvious how it was all Anju’s idea and that he was already seeing how awkward it could potentially become, but despite all of that, Cremia had to admit that he did at least somewhat succeed in keeping his voice even as he spoke.

“When we say that we were thinking about paying you a visit, the truth is that we were actually also thinking about inviting you to come visit us. It has been too long since the last time we did that, and after everything that has happened,” he gestured towards the sky, towards were the moon had now returned to its right place far away from them, “we must have plenty to talk about. Tell you what—seeing as we were just on our way home, you could come back with us. It can be just like when we were children, just the three of us, eating cake and telling each other our secrets.”

If it had not been for how she could see the awkwardness etched into Kafei’s face, Cremia might have given into the urge to ask him about how exactly he could think that they would ever be able to return to the relationship they had had when they had been children. For fact was that, despite how Cremia looked back towards the days where they had just been three friends, almost wishing she could return to those simpler times, things had changed between them since then. They had changed the moment they had stopped being ‘Anju, Kafei, and Cremia’, to instead becoming ‘us and Cremia’. They had changed when Kafei had disappeared and Cremia had been left wondering how anything could have made him leave when he should have known how his absence had made Anju make the journey to Romani Ranch to, with tears streaming down her face, tell Cremia about how she could not find him anywhere. But most of all, it had changed when Cremia had looked over at Anju the last time she had been to Clock Town before the moon had begun to fall and, deciding that she would not be able to stay quiet anymore, had whispered those three words before letting her fear control her, making her flee from the Stock Pot Inn, returning to Romani Ranch with her hearth in her mouth, already knowing how she might just have destroyed her oldest friendship, the pain the thought brought her making it so that when she awoke the next day to see how the moon had moved closer towards them during the night, she was almost relieved that she now had something else to think about, something that could distract her from what she had said to Anju.

But if they had decided to extend a hand towards her, being willing to rekindle their friendship, then Cremia would not begin to ask questions when she knew full well that she was not in a position to begin to explain to them how they really did not want to spend time with her.

So, not allowing herself a moment to think it through, too afraid that she would change her mind, she nodded at Kafei. “Thank you, I would love to.”

For a fraction of a second, Cremia thought she saw the surprise written across his face, but before Kafei got the chance to say anything, to possibly let it show how he too found the idea of all three of them spending time together again quite awkward, Anju had cut in, pulling Cremia in for a hug that was so tight that it felt like it should have dislocated at least a couple of her ribs.

“Oh, Cremia, I have missed you,” she whispered, and while Cremia already knew that it had to be a lie, another attempt at trying to go back to a point in time where their friendship had been blissfully uncomplicated, she allowed herself to believe it as she followed Kafei and Anju home.

They did not live with the mayor any more. On some level, Cremia supposed she had realised that the moment they turned right rather than left, but even then, it did not do much to lessen the impact the realisation that they had moved into a house together had on her, Cremia having to mask the little, pained gasp that escaped her as a cough. Although she had of course been there through the years, had listened both to Kafei when he would tell her about how he wanted to do things right, asking her for advice about what he should write in his letters to Anju, as well as to Anju when she would receive the letters and the little gifts, would laugh along with her as she repeated what Kafei had said when they had gone for a stroll in the evening, it was not until she walked into the living room, Anju holding the door open for her before gesturing towards a couch in the other end of the room, that Cremia fully realised what it meant.

It was not just a matter of how she would have to forget about her feelings. This, everything around her and the way Anju leant against Kafei’s shoulder as he slung his arm around her waist before the two of them moved through the room to join her, Anju sitting down next to her on the couch while Kafei took the armchair, was proof that this now meant that while they had always shared their friendship somewhat equally in the past, they now had a thing that she was not a part of.

“Wait, I am forgetting my manners. Just give me a moment, Cremia, then I will get you something to eat,” Kafei announced, moving to stand up again. From the look he sent her, the glance lasting for a heartbeat, Cremia knew that he had been able to read her thoughts on her face. That, or perhaps it was just an excuse to leave the room.

Using the pretence of having to push a stray strand of hair way from her face to cover up her expression for a moment, Cremia made sure to clear her head, to put on a mask of a smile and a cheery attitude. The most important thing now was to make sure that they would be able to find a way to continue, to make sure that her friends were happy. And if Cremia had to learn how to lie to do that, then that was what she would do.

Next to her, Cremia could hear how her disguise for her actions had not been needed as Anju leant forwards, whispering something to Kafei before he disappeared back into the hallway. A second later, she turned towards her, and although Cremia had tried to prepare herself for that moment, knowing that it would come sooner or later, as she looked into Anju’s eyes, she found that no amount of trying to tell herself that she was fine, how her feelings for Anju had just been a passing thing, would ever have been enough to prepare her for this. But still, she could not allow her own unhappiness to affect her friends, so Cremia simply blinked a bit faster, making sure that it was not too obvious how she did it to hide the tears, and tried her best to pay attention as Anju brought an end to the silence that had filled the living room.

“I think that you might already know what I want to talk with you about.”

Cremia swallowed. There it was, the moment she had both feared and looked forward to when Anju would try to tell her how it did not have to change anything, that they could surely close that chapter of their life and begin a new one.

But although she wished that she could simply erase what she had told her, make the words unsaid, she knew that delaying it would only make the moment when it would come back once more even worse. And so, Cremia gathered what little courage she had left and nodded. “Yes, I do.”

Anju’s gaze flickered, and for reasons Cremia could not guess, her eyes grew shiny as she leant in towards her. “I am so sorry!”

Perhaps she should have said something, should have reached out and tried to console Anju as she buried her face in her shoulder, her tears seeping into the fabric of her blouse, but in that moment, the only thing Cremia could think of was how she did not understand what was happening. Why was Anju crying, where was the strained smile and the offer that they could still be friends, the betrayed look she would not be able to hide, the hint of anger and pity? Where was the reaction she had awaited?

Clumsily patting her friend on the shoulder, every little motion feeling disingenuous, Cremia tried to figure out what she could say to make the situation better.

“Hey, it is all right. Everything is fine; you have nothing to apologise for,” she tried, but for some reason, that only seemed to make Anju cry even more.

“Please, don’t try to say that it doesn’t matter, I know it does!” as Anju looked up, the tears still streaming down her face, Cremia thought she could catch a glimpse of Anju’s usual bright and happy expression, but it was gone the next moment as Anju continued. “I—I had not thought about it back then, I promise I hadn’t, but then, when you began to avoid me and I did not know why, I remembered what it must have looked like to you when I decided to stay in the town rather than to go to Romani Ranch with my mother and grandmother as I had planned.” the tears halted, but as Anju reached out to take Cremia’s hands, holding both of them tightly as she looked into her eyes that Cremia could see that it should not be interpreted as a sign that Anju was feeling better, especially not as Anju’s voice broke a few times before she was able to add onto her own outburst. “And then after you had told me you loved me… Cremia, I am so sorry, I know that I should have told you all of this the moment I woke up the next day to find that the world had survived, but I simply did not think of it.” a little, humourless laugh escaped her, faint and shrill. “I was waiting for Kafei. Someone had given me a reason to believe that he might come back, but since he would come to the Stock Pot Inn, I knew that I had to wait for him there. If that had not been the case, I would have gone to Romani Ranch to spend my last moments there with you. For although I have let this go on for far too long, although I have allowed this divide between us to grow wider for far longer than I should, please believe me when I say that I do love you as well.” at the end of the sentence, Anju’s voice was so quiet that Cremia had to lean in to be able to hear what she said, and yet, as she reached those final words, to Cremia, she might as well have yelled.

Love. It echoed through her mind, a foolish sense of hope blooming in her chest once more. Cremia could at least have made an attempt at finding comfort in the fact that she would not have to fear for how her rash declaration of love might have led to the end of their friendship, but it was a small comfort when it came with the knowledge that she could only breathe freely again because the idea of her being in love with Anju had seemingly not even been an option Anju had considered when she had tried to figure out why things had become awkward between them. She should have been happy, ecstatic even, so grateful for the misunderstanding that she could have hugged Anju, but in that moment, Cremia only felt empty.

“Yes,” she finally managed to force out, her voice being so flat that she could barely recognise it, “or—well, I mean, yes, of course I believe you when you say that you love me as well. But you really should not have worried about any of that; I had already guessed that Kafei’s possible return was the reason for why you had stayed.” from the look on Anju’s face, the way her eyebrows rose a little, but with her mouth still being pulled downwards into a frown, Cremia knew that she would have to try again if she wanted to fully convince her, so, trying her best to forget about the hollow feeling in her chest, she forced the most sincere smile she could possibly have produced onto her face. “Really, don’t worry about it. The reason I haven’t been able to spend much time with you and Kafei lately is not that I was trying to avoid you, I have just been quite busy with the ranch and Romani—did you know that she has decided she wants to become an archer when she grows up?” the lie stung on her tongue, so Cremia tried to sweeten it, to make it appear less obvious how she had to force the words out, by tilting her head, somehow able to imitate an honest chuckle as she recalled how Romani had jumped around with joy the first time they had left the Swordsman’s School.

And it seemed to work, or at least Cremia could see how the pain and guilt on Anju’s face lessened a little, instead making way for a smile that looked more honest than what Cremia felt in that moment. “No, I haven’t heard about that,” Anju said, “is it really true?”

“Absolutely. She is even talking about how she wants to learn how to make her own arrows so that she will not have to depend on someone else to do it for her.”

Anju giggled. “That does sound like the Romani I know. Actually, speaking of Romani—both your sister and the ranch—if you ever need help with something, don’t hesitate to ask.” she nodded towards the door leading out into the hallway, and although Cremia did not need to ask whom the gesture was meant for, Anju still continued. “Kafei and I, we are right here and we are ready to help you. No matter what, we will be there if you need us.”

The couch was soft beneath her, almost making it so that, as Cremia looked at Anju and took in the way she smiled at her, the tears already drying, she might have thought herself capable of simply telling her the reason for why she had avoided her and Kafei, tell her how she had misunderstood what Cremia had meant when she had told her that she loved her. But that would require for her to suddenly find the courage that she had never possessed, to be able to reject the hidden blessing Anju misinterpreting what kind of love Cremia had meant was, and she simply could not, not when the alternative was so tempting, to simply try to forget about her feelings and welcome the opportunity to return back to how their lives had been when they had been children again.

In a way, Cremia supposed it was the same kind of desperate need not to leave her childhood behind that had made her so overprotective of Romani, and perhaps she should have taken the laughter that had followed her telling her sister about how she had secured her archery lessons as a sign that her life would only become better if she found the courage to confess to her feelings, but nevertheless, Cremia could not find the strength to do that, instead forcing a smile onto her face, the grimace feeling so forced that it made her face hurt.

“Of course I will,” she said, every word sounding more untruthful than the last, “you are my best friends after all.”

That seemed to be good enough for Anju, for she threw her arms around her to, for the second time that day, embrace her, Kafei returning only moments later to place a tray on the table to their right before sitting down in his armchair again.

“So,” he began, and from the way his gaze did not leave her face, Cremia knew that the question was meant for her, “did the two of you get a chance to smooth things out?”

While Anju nodded, already talking about how she had been silly to have spent so much time worrying about what she now thought of as a minor misunderstanding, Cremia shook her head and tried to ignore the way Kafei’s smile faltered for a second before he looked back at Anju, the sight of her seemingly being enough to allow him to forget everything else to instead smile at her with such love and adoration in his eyes that Cremia once more could not help but wonder how long it would take before their friendship would inevitably fall to pieces.

The thought of that happening both saddened her and brought a sense of hope along with it. Although Cremia would once have thought that Anju being happy was all she could ask for, as she sat there, being a guest in their house, while Anju and Kafei talked about nothing and everything, almost seeming to be drawn to one another, Cremia was not sure that she would be able to survive the heartache for much longer.

Perhaps it really would be better if she just shared her feelings with her friends, allowed herself to believe them when they said that they would help her no matter what. But that would not be simple. And Cremia was, after all, only trying to find a way to make her life become less complicated.

And so, she remained quiet.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you want, you can find me on [Tumblr](https://theseventhsage.tumblr.com/)


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